Well, it is October 20. 2010. Even though time has passed, it still remains the same. We all still miss you and love you. I really miss you. I think of you all the time. I still recall when we would eat out and share that time. I remember your laugh and teasing manner. I remember your looks when you became irriataed with me. Of course, that lasted just a short while or you would talk with me about it. I remember when I could 'push your buttons' and upset you. I really was just playing with you at those times. I am grateful I can come here and write to you. Today is one of those days, (and yesterday too) when I was in an 'angry fog'. I have retired now, the office offered me a VOBO (buy-out) and I took it. Am now trying to get another job (website business) off the ground. Am drawing a blank as to a subject for blogging. I wish so many times that I had not loaned you my car to go to Tulsa. I did not know you were going to Tulsa or I would not let you go. I thought you were just going around town for the Christmas for your children and grandchildren. I want to re-do that day so much. But, we don't get do-overs in life. Oh my daughter, I still love you so much and miss you terribly. I will always love you. I will be back again. Love you, mom.

Hi, sweetie. Your grandmother passed today, this morning at 4:20 a.m. I had been there and left at 1 a.m.; your Aunt Mary stayed. She called me at 4;20 a.m. saying grandma had passed. Everyone is here at the house. But, you know, that still doesn't keep me from thinking of you. And, I am not thinking right now anyway. I did want to talk with you today, you would be here for me. Misty is here for me now. She is very sweet and kind and considerate towards me. You have a jewel of a daughter, hon. I know you were very proud of her all along. I can't stay long this time but I promise you I will be back within the next 1 or 2 days. I Love You, honey. Mom

Well, sugar, we are going to the D.A.'s office this week and tell them what we want. Seems Stout's lawyer is trying to get him off. Misty has written her thoughts already and given them to me. Aunt Mary is trying to be there also. Mike just didn't say anything when I told him he could tell the D.A. what he wanted. I will probably have to remind him. He is still having a hard time. As is Misty. Your brothers are also. They were both in denial for a long time. Paul figured Stout would not be given any sentence or punishment for what he did. Dale, well, when we talk, he breaks down sometime. Me, well, you know me. I am having to get all the costs together for the D.A. I will probably do that tonight. I am going to try to retire in approximately 6 months. I have a on-line business set up but am not able to work it as yet. I can't get my phone set up right. Hope to do that tomorrow. It will be good just to set home and work and not have to listen to everyone else. I have printed down pictures of the car. It is a mess. Trunk in the back seat. He must have been traveling at 90 mph or so. He doesn't know himself. He was so high on the drugs. They couldn't even arrest him the day the accident happened because he was not coherent. They arrested him the next day. He did spend the night in jail though. So far, he has been out driving and all that. He still has his rights; he took your all from you. The right to breathe, live, love and be happy. This just is not right. It hurts so much not having you here. I miss you and me talking, discussing whatever. Your smile. Your warmth. Will always. I suppose this gets better a long time down the line/road. That's what I hear. Right now, I don't think they are right about that. I love you, hon. Always will.